Monday, February 2, 2009

My Rider: 2009 Edition...

Though I have no legitimate intent to ever be a real rock star (fame is not worth the cost of admission in my opinion) but it is fun to think of what it would be like. A "rider" is an artist's wish-list/list of demands included in the contract to play a venue. Everything that is on the list is to be provided to the performer(s) before and after their performance. I made up my own rider about 2 years ago and it was a lot fun, is the updated edition:

My 2009 Rider:

3 kegs of Michelob Light (tapped and on ice)
4 laptop computers with iTunes & Sony Acid Mix installed
1 Bose 901 Direct/Reflecting speaker system
18 full size white bathrooms towels (washed twice in Gain 'Island')
1 Blu-Ray copy of "Apocalypse Now" (Redux version)
1 velvet painting of Waylon Jennings
15 cases of Fiji bottled water (chilled)
20 bottles of wine (10 pinot noir, 10 pinot grigio)
1 HD movie projector
1 wall projection screen
15 issues of Playboy magazine (any from 1986-1990)
1 catered dinner: steak, roasted red potatoes and grilled asapargus
4 cartons of Marlboro Light cigarettes
8 Bic lighters (4 blue and 4 orange)
1 complete set of 1991 Upper Deck baseball cards
1 "Button Your Fly" t-shirt, white, size L
6 vegetable trays
6 fruit trays
10 packs of clear 16 oz plastic cups
1 DVD copy of Wrestlemania VI
2 stuffed mountain lions
5 American Apparel Zip Hoody ( 2 XS, 2 L, 1 XL in assorted colors)
1 DVD copy of 1990 NCAA Final Four
1 bottle of Super B-Complex vitamins
3 vintage Polaroid cameras
6 packages of Polaroid film
1 extra large world map (placed on wall before my arrival)
1 Blu-Ray Copy of "Planet Earth" series
1 turntable (with USB connection)
1 vinyl copy of M83's "Digital Shades Vol. 1"
1 original Nintendo entertainment game system
1 copy of "Contra" Nintendo game
1 copy of "Bad Dudes" Nintendo game
4 black sharpie markers
3 clocks (1 set to EST time, 1 to Pacific, 1 to Tokyo time)
1 framed poster of Wade Boggs in Tampa Bay Devil Rays uniform
1 DVD copy of original news coverage of Hurricane "Andrew"
7 vintage pairs of assorted neon colored sunglasses (1989-1991 era)
2 packs of sparklers

My 2007 Rider:

3 30 pack's Keystone Light (on ice)
9 white towels (washed in Gain detergent)
All 12 issues of Spin magazine from 1994
4 king size Reesce Cups
1 DVD copy of the Tom Chambers dunk on Mark Jackson
1 wall size projection screen
1 video projector
1 Bose stereo system
1 copy of Girl Talk - "Night Ripper"
All venue workers must ask "open the pod bay doors HAL" before being permitted to enter
3 dirty socks filled with "fool's gold"
1 set of Presidential flash-cards
1 ping-pong table (4 paddles, 18 orange competition size balls)
10 Hyper Color t-shirts (sizes M-XL)
1 DVD copy of the complete 1990 World Series: Reds vs. A's
22 rolls of Brawny paper-towels (no designs)
1 copy of the U.S. Patriot Act
1 audio copy of George Orwell's "1984" as read by Billy Crudup
2 maps of Montana
1 Bob Evans giftcard worth $275.41
1 chemistry set recommended for ages 12-16
1 hot plate
3 boxes of Hamburger Helper
3 lbs. ground beef (browned)
1 bottle Kahlua
1 bottle Smirnoff vanilla vodka
1 bottle half & half creamer
1 bag of ice
2 9mm pistols loaded with blanks (checked twice for safety reasons)
1 copy of Metallica's "Kill Em' All" on vinyl
1 VHS tape of "The Grapes of Wrath"
6 live palm trees
1 arcade game: "Double Dragon II"
1 "Over the Top" movie poster adorned on the wall
2 bottles of generic contact solution

Copies of actual singer/band riders:

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