Wednesday, April 8, 2009

15 Years Ago Today: Kurt Cobain Found Dead in Seattle, WA

Kurt Cobain was found dead at his home in Seattle, Washington on April 8, 1994. Cobain, the lead singer of the American grunge band Nirvana, had checked out of a drug rehab facility and been reported suicidal by his wife Courtney Love. The Seattle Police Department incident report states that Cobain was found with a shotgun across his body, had a visible head wound and there was a suicide note discovered nearby. The King County Medical Examiner noted that there were puncture wounds on the inside of both the right and left elbow. The Seattle Police Department investigated, and after an autopsy by the King County Coroner's Office, Cobain's death was ruled a suicide by a single gunshot wound to the head.

On April 8, 1994, Cobain was discovered in the spare room above the garage (referred to as "the greenhouse") at his Lake Washington house by Veca Electric employee Gary Smith. Smith arrived at the house in the morning to install security lighting and saw Cobain lying inside. Apart from a minor amount of blood coming out of Cobain's ear, Smith reported seeing no visible signs of trauma, and initially believed that the body was a mannequin then thought it was Cobain asleep. Smith found what he thought might be a suicide note with a pen stuck through it beneath an overturned flowerpot. A shotgun, purchased for Cobain by Dylan Carlson, was found resting on Cobain's chest. He had been listening to R.E.M.'s 'Automatic for the People' before taking his own life. Cobain's death certificate stated that his death was a result of a "contact perforating shotgun wound to the head," and an overdose and concluded his death a suicide. The report estimated Cobain to have died on April 5, 1994.

Suicide Note:

"To Boddah

Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.

All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things.

For example when we're back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins., it doesn't affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do,God, believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.

On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know!

I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what i used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've become.

I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.

Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.

Peace, love, empathy.
Kurt Cobain

Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your alter.
Please keep going Courtney, for Frances.
For her life, which will be so much happier without me.


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the said...

may his soul rest in peace!!!

will said...

may he rest in piece also i think he still liveing hes in our hearts

charry c0ncepci0n said...

i feel s0rry that y0u're n0t with us anym0re..may y0ur s0ul rest in peace

Bryan C said...

Kurt I wish i had a chance to meet u.I was never really into music untill 2000 when my sister brought over a vhs tape with come as you are.Once i saw the vid and heard the song i was hooked so thnx for all u contributed to rock music im a loyal fan but not a freak like most who smother u.Rip kurt ur the last great rocker

Virgoans Aspect said...

Kurt u rock

Musique said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Musique said...

I almost cried when i read the suicide letter. I wish i could have met him, even if it was just going to oneof his concerts(god, that would have been great) may he rest in peacee...<33

rahul said...

u are my god kurt..!!!!
and u will be foreva..!!!!!!<3...
lub ya

amandeep_dyal said...

He was a drug addict who comitted suicide, no matter what anyone thinks he was just a sad and stupid individual. Wether or not he made good music he was just selfish.

THEW342 said...

Amandeep_dyal, you don't understand suicide and you sound like a fool. How is it selfish when someone kills themselves because they feel they are a burden on others? They give the ultimate sacrifice because they believe it's for the benefit of others. I can't believe how stupid you are.

ryane said...

Kurt. You were amazing. You're daughter still loves you. I still love you. As we all know you're dead. And your daughter is without a father. But you made a choice. She's living on. With all of her memories. All that she remembers of you. You're wife was a complete b*tch. I don't know why you loved that woman. She manipulated you.. Well enough of that. Decision was made. And we can't change that. But I know you'll live safe in my heart, Cobain.

JRC said...

I am betting his daughter is better off really and he made the right choice. I mean Courtney is a drug addicted nut job and after reading that letter so was he. Its better she was only raised by one fail parent and not both.